Some Awesome Quotes
by FrenchFrylovesMaximumRide
Summary: I gathered some various quotes that I love very much off of the interweb and off of Laser Collection. I hope you enjoy them! No flames because there is nothing to flame about. Either you like it or you don't. If you don't, meh. PLEASE REVIEW! Oneshot!


Some awesome quotes!

Laser Collection

"Odd? Odd is Benjamin Franklin playing tetherball with Van Helsing. Odd is something that I can't remember but apparently MarMar can. Odd is a 40 year old senior officer who cries himself to sleep every night dreaming of the life on the road as a naked contortionist never returning home, never stopping, never breaking his stride… unless he sees a TGIFridays, he f***ing loves that place. This isn't odd Randall, this is a mystery." – 40 year old senior officer

"I'm gonna pop this kids balloon, then I'm gonna run some errands, the upstairs bathroom is out of hand soap! Mwa haha haha haha! *pop* Yay!"

Maximum Ride

"Fang: 'Man, You weigh a freaking _ton_! What have you been eating, rocks?'  
Max: 'Why, is your head missing some?"

"They turned to Angel."We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing.  
"Okay," said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned.  
"That can be his Indian name," I suggested."

"I can talk to fish!" Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner," Fang said, joining us."

"Iggy: Can I come in?  
Max: No! I'm in a towel!  
Iggy: I'm blind!"

"Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?"

"Holy [Insert your choice of a swear word here]," said Fang stunned."

"You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me. 'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)  
And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)"

"De tall, dark vun-dere's nothing special about him at all," ter Borcht said dismissively of Fang, who hadn't moved since the doctor had come in.  
Well, he's a snappy dresser," I offered. One side of Fang's mouth quirked."

"Pick a tree. I'll carve our initials into it." -Fang"

"So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like unbarfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl." -Max"

"And you're blind?"  
Uh-huh," Iggy said, trying to sound bored.  
Were you born that way?"  
No."  
How did you become blind, uh, Jeff, is it?"  
Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened."

"I don't damsel well. Distress, I can do. Damseling? Not so much."

"They call me, The Sharkalator" –Gazzy

"You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record." –Nudge

"Fang, fang. I love you. I looooove you. I love you thiiiiiiiiiis much!"

"Some kids get called 'bundles of joy' or 'slices of heaven' or 'dreams come true.' We got 'the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.' Doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I'm oversensitive."

"Fang! Come Back!" I started pulling his hair. Shaking his head and shoulders. Hard. "Wake up! Snap out of it! You stupid jerk! I am going to kill you if you die on me!"

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!"-Gazzy"

"There is one bright side to this," said Fang.  
Yeah? What's that?" The new and improved Erasers would mutilate us before they killed us?  
He grinned at me so unexpectedly I forgot to flap for a second and dropped several feet. "You looove me," he crooned smugly. Holding his arms out wide he added, "You love me this much."  
My shriek of appalled rage could probably be heard in California, or maybe Hawaii."

"You stand out like a fart in a church."

"You are avake, yah?" said a voice in a horribly recognizable accent.  
"Yah," I muttered, rubbing my head. "And you are still a jerk, yah?"

"If you're ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol. Not so much the House of Representatives, which has a bit more color and texture, but the Senate - jeez. Yes, let's have more testosterone running the country."

"I feel like I'm going to HURL. Which, even if I wanted to do, I couldn't do, because I haven't eaten. I can't even drag myself out of my room. And while I'd be able to muster the strength to roundhouse Fang until he begged for MERCY, I'de be mush around an Eraser."

"And Flock Rule Number Two is, Don't argue with Max or you'll live to regret it." I spun and stomped out to the clearing, turning back for one last jab at Dylan. "And by the way, you clearly DON'T know me better than Fang does. Do you see Fang arguing with me? No, you do not."  
Fang rolled his eyes."

"I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same-evil. Count me out."

Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy.

Dang, I'm good."

"Uh-huh," I said. "Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks. I mean, this is pathetic."

"do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?"

"you're a diabolical little pyro, aren't you?  
He blushed modestly."

"Oh great. Yoda captured us."

"Max:"So the first thing we're going to do," I told him, "is push you off the roof."

"Yeah, you're sitting in a tree because you're _fine_. That's easy to see. I can't believe this is _Maximum Ride_, destroyer of despots, warrior hottie, leader of the flock! All you need now to make yourself more pathetic is a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream!"

"Yeah, and so Max and Dylan are supposed to, like, go to Germany and have kids together," I heard Gazzy say.  
My eyes popped open and I bolted upright.  
"What?" Fang said, his voice icy.  
"Gazzy!" I yelled.  
Wide blue eyes looked at me in surprise, then back at Fang's stoic face. "Oh. Was I not supposed to say anything?" Gazzy asked."

"Then, Holden, the little Fang gang kid, came out of nowhere with an apparent death wish. He raced directly toward the maniac with the gun shrieking something that sounded like "I_ am Starfishhh!_"

"(Iggy) It never works out! *kicks rock, it hits a window, sirens go off*  
(Iggy) Uh oh.  
(Max) Up and away guys! Come on Iggy, we gotta go.  
(Iggy) No. *sits down*  
(Max) Iggy, come on!  
(Iggy) No! It's different for you, you don't know what it's like, Yeah I make jokes- I'm the blind kid, but don't you see? Every time we move I'm lost all over again, you guys- It's much easier for you. Even your lost isn't as bad as my lost. You know?  
*sirens coming closer*  
(Max) Ig, I know it's hard, but if you think I'm going to let you give up on us now, you've got another think coming. Yes, you're a blind mutant freak, but you're my blind mutant freak, and you're coming with me, now, or I swear I will kick your skinny white ass from here to the middle of next week.  
*Iggy raises his head lights flashing telling max that he cops were almost on top of them*  
(Max) Iggy, I need you, I love you. I need all of you, all five of you, to fell whole myself. Now get up, before I kill you."  
*Iggy stands* "Well, when you put it that way..."  
*max smiles* come on Ig  
*they fly off*"

"Do you have dirty dreams about Spongebob?

(Fang) Definitely"

"Have you ever been to Colorado?"  
I frowned. "Is that one of those square ones, in the middle?"

"You're a fridge with wings. We're freaking ballet dancers! -Fang"

"Time to die." -Angel


End file.
